Sometimes it amazes me how fragile life is and how quickly it can end. What amazes me even more is how most people live their lives like they're invincible, and waste their precious time on things like drugs, alcohol, their next relationship, money... the list goes on and on. All things that in the end really don't matter.
Over the weekend my mom's sister-in-law was killed in a freak accident. She was only 25-years-old and had a 7-year-old little girl. I must confess that I didn't like the woman at all and that the person I feel the most sorry for is her little girl. No one deserves to lose their mommy at that age.
She wasted her life in drugs and alcohol.
The news of this got me thinking about my own life. When I was a teenager I had big plans and even bigger dreams. I was going to be a missionary and change the world. I did my bit of globe trotting and then something in me changed. I didn't want to just go over to some third-world country for a few months and then come home to my comfortable life and look back on those trips as really nothing more than an extended vacation. If I was going to do missions I wanted to do them long term so that I could share my beliefs and help people by example and friendship... instead of shoving them down their throats.
When I look at my life now I wonder where that person went. My brother and sister are off doing something to change their worlds. (My sister plays keyboards in a worship band and my brother is going to Dallas after Christmas for a year to train worship leaders). And here I am. At home, married, not even working and almost 8 months pregnant. What am I contributing? Am I just wasting my time?
My mom helped set me straight. She told me that being a good mother is probably the most important thing in the world. Sure it's generally sneered at in this age of women doing men's jobs and leaving their kids to be raised by others. But think about it. We're raising the next generation. We have to make sure that they're law-abiding, moral adults. That isn't something that we as humans are born with.
I know my purpose for this chapter of my life. I just wish that some of my friends could figure it out too.

Random thoughts

Only 9 weeks left to go in this pregnancy. Believe me when I say that I am more than ready for it to be over! Don't get me wrong I will thoroughly enjoy my new baby girl when she's here but I will not miss being pregnant.
Levi is leaving for Oklahoma City tomorrow for a two day supervisor training seminar. I am so proud of him. He works so hard at what he does not just for me and the baby's sake but for his own as well. He can't do a half-way job. Everything he does he gives it 100%. I wish that I was more like that.
Sometimes I still wonder how in the world a girl like me ended up with a guy like him. He's focused and intense while I'm laid back and well...odd for the lack of a better word. Maybe we're together because we're so different. I admit that I'm extremely curious to find out what our little Zoe Elizabeth is going to be like with her parents being total opposites.